For many high school seniors, the last week has brought much excitement as decisions from several colleges have been released. But for countless others, these decisions have brought heartache, anger, frustration and doubt. This article is directly for those students.
I know rejection hurts. There are no words that will make the sting disappear any faster than you are ready for it to. Whether it was from your dream school or a safety school, seeing the words "We are sorry" simply brings no solace. The fact that too many qualified applicants applied this year means nothing to you. The idea that this was such a difficult decision for the admissions officers might feel like empty words. And all of that is OK.
But you do have a choice to make -- let this rejection sit with you and simply brood or take life by the reins and accept this as one of many obstacles in your life that you will overcome.
You must remember that college does not make the person. The place where you get your degree has less to do with your happiness and future success than you think it does. What you make of your college experience, how you take advantage of every opportunity, and the characteristics and skills you develop throughout your life are significantly more important factors. This does not mean give up college; rather it means don't give up on yourself because of one college's decision.
So as soon as you are ready to let go of this rejection, you must put all of your energy into your other applications. Very likely the decision had nothing to do with your application specifically, but you should still thoroughly review remaining applications to make sure they truly represent the best you. If you need to make adjustments, spend the time. It will be worth it.
Re-evaluate but don't re-create your college list. Perhaps you want to throw on a few more safety or target schools or narrow down the list of remaining schools. You don't have to start from scratch. Assuming that you built your list with practicality in mind from the beginning, your college list should still be intact. Ask your counselor for help if you just need some objective feedback.
And don't do anything rash like calling the admissions office to let it know how big of a mistake it made, bad-mouthing other students who were admitted, blaming others for the denial, or really anything that would show your character in a bad light. Sure, you have every right to be upset, but you still have to stay classy. Some schools, very few, are willing to give feedback to students about their applications. Call and ask for that feedback if the school is willing, but don't argue against it. Use that information for other applications.
Mostly, keep your head up high. This one decision does not and should not diminish your accomplishments and hard work. The admissions officers are being truthful when they say how difficult it is to make these decisions. And often, while the system does not seem as meritocratic as it promises to be, there are factors out of your control. So although you did everything right it just wasn't a good fit this year. That, unfortunately, is a part of life. So you did not get into this one school -- so what? This just means that you are going to take a different path than you expected. Perhaps this new path will bring you adventures you could never have imagined and opportunities that seemed beyond reach.
To those students who are feeling down right now, this sting will subside and in its place will be the excitement of something unexpected. You can still have an amazing college experience, you just have to be open to it. And when spring rolls around and you have some acceptances in hand, you might even be thankful for this one rejection.
Purvi S. Mody is co-owner of Insight Education, an educational consulting firm that helps students throughout the Bay Area to achieve their educational goals. Email her at purvi@insight-education.net.
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