How to Deal with a Drop in Your Teen’s Grades

via https://www.teenlife.com/blogs/articles/how-to-deal-with-a-drop-in-your-teens-grades

A drop in school performance can be worrying for any parent; however, it is something many teens go through at some point during their education, and is often nothing to be overly concerned about. That said, it is important to ascertain the reason why, and rule out any underlying serious cause.

Noticing a drop in school performance

Sometimes the cause of a dip in performance is reasonably obvious: your teen might have started a new school (especially if they have moved up to high school), has problems with friends, is getting inadequate sleep, spends too much time participating in afterschool activities, has a busy social life, or is preoccupied with the internet. At this age, teens are simply unable to see the big picture or the relevance in working hard, and their drop in grades could be caused by laziness, distraction, or a lack of motivation. A slight drop in grades every now and again is rarely a reason to worry; however, if the slip is sudden and dramatic, or occurs over a sustained period of time, then there could be more serious, underlying reasons.

Ascertain what the issue might be

In many cases, your teen is going to hint at what the problem is. They may say that the teachers don’t understand them, mention that they haven’t been getting along with friends, or voice a lack of motivation or interest. In some cases, they might not give any clues away at all. If a slip in grades has no seemingly obvious cause, you will need to try to ascertain the reason. While it is natural for a parent to feel alarmed by a sudden drop in performance, especially if college is around the corner, going in feet first can do more damage than good. Find a quiet moment to speak to your teen, and casually turn the conversation around to grades. If they clam up, then leave it, and try again later. Try not to be accusatory or demanding; your teen isn’t going to open up to you if you are ranting or blaming. Additionally, if you have a feeling that the problem is down to motivation more than anything else, lecturing will only make your teen feel inclined to oppose or rebel against your advice.

Speak to the school

A teen’s grades may fluctuate a little, and so it won’t help anyone if you run down to the school when your straight A teen suddenly gets a B. However, if the drop in grades is sustained, then you will need to speak to their teacher. As with your teen, don’t go in all guns blazing—hurling accusations is going to be counter-productive; rather than apportioning blame, it is better to ask them if they have noticed anything they are concerned about. Teachers can often provide valuable insight into what is happening at school, and parents usually only hear one side of the story; perhaps your teen has been struggling for a while, and now feels out of their depth or is involved with conflict you were unaware of. If you feel that your teen’s school environment is the problem, liaise closely with school staff (even the principal) to try to get things resolved; if you can’t, then moving school might be the only alternative.

When there is an underlying issue

When teens are experiencing emotional upset, such as bullying, or are dealing with a mental health issue like depression or anxiety, it is hard to open up to a parent, and is not always apparent to a teacher.

A drop in grades could also indicate a serious problem such as substance abuse, or might be caused by an undiagnosed condition such as ADHD, problems with hearing or sight, or a learning disability. Therefore, if the school is unable to provide any insight, and you aren’t getting a great deal from your teen, it is important to visit your doctor to rule out any underlying medical cause.

Grades are not the most important thing

Whatever the reason for your teen’s drop in grades, it is important to handle the situation in a calm manner. In the case of a lack of motivation, it can be incredibly frustrating for a parent to see their child frittering away their education, without any thought to their future, but shouting about how they will invariably fall on deaf ears. If motivation does seem to be the issue, give them tangible goals to aim for; talk about their future career plans or college choices, and calmly explain why working hard is important.

If there is an underlying cause, do whatever it takes to support your child. Try not to put too much emphasis on grades: you know how important they are, but your teen may feel overwhelmed, worried, inadequate, or guilty for letting you down if you make too much of a big deal about them. Let your kids know that effort, and trying their best, is more important than grades.

The most valuable thing you can do as a parent is let your teen know that you are there for them, and you care about them, rather than just their school performance. Yes, good grades are necessary, but so is your child’s happiness, and they need to know you are on their side rather than piling on extra pressure they really don’t need.

On College: Parents need to butt out from doing children's homework

It seems that with each passing generation, the level of parental involvement on a day-to-day basis in a child's school has increased. Technology makes it that much easier, since parents can see a student's exam grade before the child even gets home from school. And it is difficult to gauge whether competition to get into college is fueling this over-involvement or the over-involvement is creating a much more competitive landscape. Without spending too much time analyzing the phenomenon, I would rather shift my focus to the negative impacts of stepping in and always cushioning a child's fall.

Recently, a sophomore student confided in me that he sometimes does not do his homework because he knows his mom will do it for him if it gets too late. Another mom mentioned that she will be taking a year off work so she can focus on her child's grades. Other parents have taken over science projects and English papers. Now, parents do this from a place of love and of wanting to provide the best opportunities to their children. But these parents are lulling their children into a false sense of reality. They believe they are invincible and entitled.

Parents must let their children fail. Failure is as big a part of life as success is. There is much to be learned from failing, and this learning is what can fuel success and resiliency in the future. If your child stops doing his homework, do not rescue him. Let him get a zero or get reprimanded by the teacher. One parent even told me that the school assigns too much homework so she has to do it for her son. Even so, it is your son's responsibility to do the work.

Let's not forget the moral implications here. Do you want to teach your children that cheating and lying are the ways to reach success? Do you want them to believe that hard work is not necessary?

While they are under your roof, you can help them navigate the world. You can help them manage their time, teach them study skills, model hard work. You can support them when they fall down and cheer them on when they succeed. You can help them to see the good when everything seems dismal. Doing so means that they will learn the skills to be independent in life.

So, parents, resist the urge to "clean up" that essay, or redo the math problems. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. School is not just about learning facts and doing homework, but rather about learning skills. If you save them from every misstep they make, you are doing them a disservice.

If you find yourself in a position where you have already been over-involved, take baby steps to help your child adjust to having a bit more freedom. Be clear that you will not do any of his work, but will help him think through the problems. And then be consistent with your message.

Remember that your parents did not have the technological tools to keep an eye on you as you were growing up. You probably had to work hard, deal with teachers on your own, and learn the system of each school you went to individually. But doing so made you a stronger person. Let your kids have the same experiences. Let them earn their success. You may even find that you spend more quality time with your children when every interaction does not have to do with school.

College Tips: Admissions counselors pay attention to bouts of 'senioritis'

Senioritis — an often chronic malady that strikes 12th graders with bouts of laziness and apathy — can be a problem for college applications.

High school seniors may not want to hear this, but grades matter, even those that are earned after the Common Application has been submitted.

“It’s the first thing I look at when I open a file,” Matt Middleton, the College of New Jersey’s associate director of admissions, said. “What courses are they taking their senior year and what are their grades? They are critical.”

Middletown said first quarter and first semester grades from senior year tell admissions officers a great deal about the applicant.

“I want to see are they continuing to challenge themselves or are they coasting along,” he said.

Many applicants think junior year is the showcase year, since the application process begins before senior year starts. And for students who apply early, applications are filed before the year’s first tests are taken.

But colleges have until March to make their final decisions, so Middleton cautions students from slacking off.

“If I’m looking at a file second time, if I see students doing well, it might move them from the wait list to admitted, or from the denial pile to the wait list,” he said.

“Our attitude is that senior year is the springboard to college,” he added. “We want you to continue to push.”

What to do when grades slide

Tackling Mediocrity: What To Do When Your Performance Drops 

So you hit a little bump on your road to success…

BY STEPHEN J. PEMBERTON

Not all of us have smooth experiences in high school. For some, it takes longer to adjust, and others make some unwise decisions. Sometimes, serious life issues have to be dealt with: death, divorce, athletic injuries, or an end of a serious relationship. Whatever the situation, it has meant a bumpy road, rather than the smooth sailing hoped for – and what’s worse, there is the possibility that chances of getting into a good school have been ruined.

Here are some thoughts on what to do:

Deal with it directly
The professionals who read your college application are just that - professional. And that means they’re almost certainly going to see the drop in your performance. So that means you have to talk about it. If you don’t they’re going to make some assumptions that might not turn out to be in your favor -especially if it’s a highly selective school. Some schools give you the opportunity - through an essay -to talk about it. If they don’t ask, submit an essay anyway. In your essay (or an interview) you should…

Take responsibility

I know you’ve been hearing the R word your whole life, but it may never be more important than in this situation. When you take responsibility, it means you’re not making excuses and more importantly, you’ve learned something from the experience. Remember admission officers aren’t going to high school with you and they don’t REALLY know how challenging a particular situation might be. Trying to convince them that your C average in Biology was because you had the toughest teacher on the planet probably won’t get you very far because…

It’s the response not the failure that counts
Show me someone who says they’ve never failed and I’ll show you someone who’s never tried. ALL of us face defeat from time to time, but we’re not measured by our failures. We’re measured by how we respond to them and there is no better response than to…

Perform
If you’re trying to convince an admission officer that your slip was momentary, picking up your grades is the best way to do it. It says, through your actions, that you really have rebounded from the situation and are much wiser because of it. More importantly they believe that you will continue your upward trend as you move on to college. And remember, no matter what the situation or circumstances…

It’s never too late
Some of us feel that our slip or downturn was so bad that there’s nothing we can do to pull ourselves out of it…and so we dig ourselves a deeper hole because we don’t see a way out. Ask around. Parents, older brothers and sisters, teachers, guidance counselors and even college students will tell you they had a tough time or two somewhere along the way. We all do, but it doesn’t mean we don’t achieve our goals. It means we’ve taken a little detour, have got back on track and are a better person for it.