What makes a good college list?

From: http://www.examiner.com/article/what-makes-a-good-college-list

The fall of the senior year is the best time to put the finishing touches on a solid college list. At this point, hopefully students have had the opportunity to visit a few colleges, talk to friends who have moved on to new places and had the important conversation with mom and dad about where they might spend the next few years. Now is the time when counselors will work with students via Naviance or provide other resources to help them track student lists and application progress. With many deadlines falling in December and January, counselors want to make sure students are narrowing down the list and submitting materials before the holiday break.

Seemingly every admissions season, colleges experience record application numbers. The Common Application and general hype around college admissions leads students to apply to ridiculous numbers of colleges. At the end of the process, students may end up with few options or with colleges that simply aren't financially possible for their family. With those considerations in mind, below are a few suggestions for helping your student create a well-rounded college list.

1) Number of Colleges. A solid and well-rounded college list should include between 7- 10 colleges in total. There should be 3-4 "safe" colleges, 2-3 "match" colleges, and 2-3 "reach" colleges. Every counselor has a different definition of what these categories mean, but the standard definitions are as follows:

Safe - The student is in the top 25% of admitted students to this college based on their academic profile.

Match - The student falls within the middle 50% of admitted students.

Reach - The student is in the bottom 25% of admitted students OR this is a highly selective university (fewer than 30% of applicants are admitted).

Ideally, students will feel comfortable and excited about all of the colleges on their final list and should not just include colleges at random. When application fees average $50 and students may have to pay to send test scores or additional documents, the cost of applying can add up.

2) Financial Feasibility. Counselors and parents should help students with this part of the college research and use it as a time to educate students about loans, budgeting and expectations. If students will be expected to take on loans and/or get a job to help finance their education, mom and dad should establish these guidelines. For families who require need-based financial aid, the college list should include colleges that meet a high percentage of this need through grants and scholarships, not just loans. For wealthy families that will not qualify, the college list should include colleges which award merit scholarships to top students. Students should check-in with their counselor to identify appropriate colleges. Families can also seek this information out on their own using sites like Big Future, College Navigator, Common Data Sets for each college and visiting the college's financial aid and scholarship websites.

3) Location. Students should always include at least one college in their home state or within a short drive, if possible. This provides options in case a family situation arises which requires the student to be close to home. Additionally, a local college option may end up being the most affordable if the student is able to live at home or live off-campus with a friend.

These are only a few of the many aspects students and parents should take into account when creating a college list. Cultural and social fit, majors offered, location, size and employment statistics are are few of the other factors that should come into play. These are a bit more difficult to research and pinpoint, of course. However, students do have the opportunity to visit colleges for admitted student events in the spring if they want to experience that college culture first hand before making the big decision.

How to Deal With Your Teen’s Anger

https://www.teenlife.com/blogs/articles/how-to-deal-with-your-teens-anger

When your cherubic, smiling little person seems to transform into a rampaging angry ball of hormones overnight, it can be hard to handle. While it is common for teens to direct their rage towards the people they feel safest with (that’s you), it is often very difficult for parents to deal with.

Why Teens Get Angry With Parents

Teenagers are dealing with hormones and rapid mood changes, and it is usually mom and dad who bear the brunt of teenage angst and anger. Instinctively, teens know that parents are invariably going to take whatever is thrown at them, which provides them with the perfect battering ram to vent their hostility at the world. To make matters worse, most of us are pretty ill-equipped in knowing how to deal with strong emotions such as rage, and often feel powerless and useless.

There are many underlying causes for anger in teens, such as fear, frustration, sadness and embarrassment. Anger is often triggered by a sense of not being in control, which is a very common reaction for teens who are becoming increasingly mature and ready to face the world, yet are still tied by the constraints of parents.

How to Cope With an Angry Teen

The fundamental rule of dealing with an angry teen is to stay calm yourself. Easier said than done though, right? As the parent you need to be in command, and if you are not in control of your emotions, the situation can quickly spiral. You need to show your teen how to react under times of stress, and if you are furious, hostile, accusatory, or issuing verbal attacks, you are sending entirely the wrong message.

As with toddlers, pick your battles. If something isn’t life-threatening, don’t try to enforce it just for the sake of it. You will also quickly get a good idea of your teen’s anger triggers, and approach these subjects with caution-- and only when you are in the right frame of mind yourself.

If you feel that things are starting to become fraught, then you need to give your teen space; tell them you will leave the room for 30 minutes while they calm down and that you will return to discuss the matter later. Similarly, don’t force the issue when your teen is angry, as this will only magnify the intensity. Giving your teen- and yourself- a breather and the opportunity to calm down will help diffuse a tense situation.

It is also important to recognize the difference between anger and verbal aggression and violent behavior. If you are frightened of your teen, or they have lashed out and physically hurt you, then you will need to seek help. Intense anger and violence are often symptoms of other underlying issues and should be addressed with a medical professional.

Helping Your Teen Deal With Their Anger

Anger is a very scary emotion, for the people on the receiving end and especially for the teen experiencing it. Intense rage in teens is often debilitating, eliciting a sense of being powerless or out of control; it can also bring with it extreme guilt and feelings of self-disgust. Nobody wants to shout and scream at their parents and the wake of anger can leave them feeling confused and upset.

You should explain that anger is a normal emotion and that they shouldn’t feel guilty; however, it is not okay to rage at someone. If you allow it to persist unchallenged, kids will receive the subliminal message that it is acceptable to act in this way, which will only deepen the problem.

Therefore, make it crystal clear that although you empathize with their anger, and get why they are upset, repeated angry outbursts and threatening or aggressive behavior will never be tolerated. Although they often seem to rebel and fight against your rules at every turn, teens need strict boundaries more than ever, so ensure that you enforce consequences, such as loss of privileges, if it continues.

Always talk about their anger and explosive emotions when you are both calm, and try to explore if there is an underlying reason behind their outbursts. Look at positive ways in which teens can healthily relieve their anger, such as through sports, creative activities, or playing loud music; each child will be different, so whatever helps them de-stress is what you need to get them to focus on.

Remember that even enraged teens want their parents’ approval (although they’d never admit it in a million years). It’s not easy dealing with someone who is hostile at every turn, but the message you need to send loud and clear is that you love them, even when they are cross.